Today I wanted to reflect on something the assignment in India has reminded of. I’ve written about this about twice before but with a different perspective. When I had my first child in 1999 my personality changed. I changed immediately from being a spontaneous and risk taking personality to a protective and much more serious person. Over the years, this change helped me professionally but most definitely hurt my social life as I’ve been a bit of an introvert. It was interesting to read Mike Mckennon’s blog post about how many people would be upset when I left India "due to all the relationships I had built". This observation seemed reminiscent of a younger me rather than the current father and manager.
Over my last weekend in India I understood how accurate Mike’s observations were.
My work
Our Indian associates and friends threw a going away party that really touched me. They pitched in and gave me a hand crafted sandalwood elephant that sits on my mantle above our 55 inch LCD TV in my living room. It means a lot to me and is now in a central location in my living room and sparks a lot of conversation.
The Locals
The little boys at the Charminar whom Mike and I saw almost every Saturday cried as I said goodbye this last weekend. They’re not my boys but their lives and their ability to stay positive in the struggle of poverty really touched me. They’re the kind of kids you want to adopt to give them a better chance for success in their lives. While I didn’t show it, I was very sad to say goodbye.
My Friends
Our friends Sheila and Jimbo “who sing at the bar in the Taj Deccan”, both cried Friday and Saturday night. They said I am the best friend they’ve had in 4 years singing in India. Jim sent me a text message thanking me for my friendship and for taking an interest in their lives. I had given them a fair amount of money over a 3 month period to help them charge cell phones and keep in touch with family back in the Philippines. I know how important this is and with the small amount of money they’re paid by the hotel, it really made a difference. Sheila and her dad even reconciled some differences and started talking after 2 years. I felt great about that. They went out of their way and bought me a shirt from the local mall. It was a really nice gesture. I hope I see them when I visit again buty at the same time, I hope they find some way to increase their quality of life and find prosperity.
The Hotel
Most surprising to me were my friends at the Hotel. Since the day I met the management crew at Taj Deccan, I had a special bond with them. I negotiated some excellent rates for our company and Mike and I were treated like royalty for the duration of my stay. My friends at the hotel really went out of their way on many occasions to keep us happy. On Thursday morning (My last day in India) one of the managers “Shilpa” asked me if I would come down at 3:00pm and meet with her. She had been at my going away party from work the night before and brought her husband. It was a fun night and I thought she might be thanking me for helping her network or maybe asking me to complete a survey on the hotel since every restaurant in India asked for this before you leave. Mike went down with me to say hello to Shilpa but to my surprise, I was directed into their in house restaurant where the entire staff gathered and presented me with a cake that said “We will miss you”. I was really surprised and very touched. I can honestly say I will miss my friends at the hotel. I’ve seen them several times a day for 3 months and it feels like good friends have left my life or moved away. They also gave me a wonderful brass turtle clock. Its very heavy and elegant and must have cost a fortune. It now sits in my home office on my desk and is set to Indian Standard Time.
Blues Brothers!
What can I say, I already miss Mike. In my entire life I never met someone I’ve had more in common with. it would seem that in every way our personalities are the same. From our interest in women (our wives have so many similarities) to sports and entertainment interests we are the same. Mike and I quote the same movies and authors and laugh at the same goofy jokes. It’s no surprise to me that the two of us were the first round of volunteers for the India assignment as the similarities also led us to find the same value in the experience.
It was a pleasure and an honor doing time in India with Mike. We were like bothers or at least partners in crime : ) I’ll miss Mike most of all and am thankful we have our company in common.
At this point, you’re probably wondering about the title of this blog entry “Closer to Fine ”. As each of us grow up, we search for ourselves and our place in life. In my opinion, those of us whom are lucky live long lives and never end that journey. My life took me down the road to parenthood which has taught me a great deal about responsability and commitment but at the same time, led me to lose a perspective on who I am/was before that. I got a bit sentimental before leaving and was listening to some songs I used to love. I came across one of my favorites and the lyrics struck me in a way they never had before. In the first chorus, there are a few lines I’m referencing.
Here they are
1. "The best thing you've ever done for me Is to help me take my life less seriously, it's only life after all"
2. "There's more than one answer to these questions pointing me in crooked line"
3. "The less I seek my source for some definitive. The closer I am to fine. "
Here’s the song with music video on YouTube if you care to check it out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RY1Bl4nfpdA
The thing about all of this is that India has rekindled my desire to live life. Not on a day to day basis but to cherish every day and every relationship. To find value in what we take for granted here and go with the flow more than I have tended to in recent past. I tend to need control and because I’m a left brain type, I’m always looking for the answer or the reason behind things. The wife says I over analyze everything. Well, maybe she’s right. It’s funny, because so many people go to India and make pilgrimages to find higher meaning or interpersonal relationships or even to make spiritual connections. I simply went for work but found myself agin. The answer I found is that maybe I just need to stop looking for answers as everything I need has always been all around me.
"The less I seek my source for some definitive. The closer I am to fine".
I hope you’ve enjoyed reading my blog and how the journey to India has touched me. I still intend to post a few more times as I complete my acclimation back into the US way of life. I’ll be back to work tomorrow and I’m sure I’ll have more to say.
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